Just felt like writing again.

     There is no new information with our pregnancy situation, but I just felt like writing again.  I don't want people to think that if I can't get pregnant or carry a child to term that we are giving up on children.  We are definitely not!  Just because I may not be able to birth a child doesn't mean that I am not meant to be a mother.  There are plenty of kids that need homes out there.  Plus I have had a lot of contact with people recently who are associated with adoption; whether they have adopted children themselves or they work with foster children.  Sometimes you just don't know where God is going to take you.  You can't know.  He keeps that to Himself, kind of like a surprise.  But sometimes you feel like you are being pulled in one direction or another.  And right now I feel like I've been put in contact with people who deal with adoption for a reason.  I am desperately hoping that I am pregnant now AND that I can carry the child to term.  With that being said, I want to adopt.  If it's now or in a few years, I want to adopt a child.  I want to give a child a different life.  If it turns out that I cannot have a biological child, I do not want to move forward with egg donation.  My head is not wrapped around egg donation, and I can't seem to get there.  Plus it is extremely expensive...money that we just do not have.  Now I know that adoption can be expensive sometimes also, but to me it's just not the same.  Why adopt an egg from another person when you can adopt a child.  One that's already here in this world and needs a good home.  To me, I feel like adopting a child would change a life...and I don't mean the child.  I think that it would very rewarding and fulfilling.  Whatever we end up doing and however our lives change, I want to go at it at 100%.  I want to be fully invested in whatever choice we make, and right now that is the IUI.  So I am doing absolutely everything I can to make sure this goes according to plan.  But part of me is still planning for the worst.  Part of me can't help but be pessimistic about pregnancy b/c I've had such horrible experiences.  So please keep praying for us, b/c we do need them.  We need God to continue to guide us to our path.  Thank you all again for reading and I love ya!