It has been forever since my last blog. I cannot believe how my life has changed in 4 short months. We go from a family of 2 to a family of 4 within a 3 weeks span....and I wouldn't change one bit. I have no clue where this journey will take me and Walter but I am putting my heart into it. I don't know any other way. I tell myself to compartmentalize...but that's easier said than done. Sometimes it will hit me that these two sweet angels may not be our lives forever, but I am going to show them as much love and attention as I can while I have them. I love them so much, it will absolutely break me if they have to leave. But I knew going into this whole process that that was a possibility...heck it's a 50/50 chance at this point. I know that I get frustrated on a daily basis with them but Lord knows that I wouldn't change it for the world.
So just a little update; we've had another court date, but no changes were made to the orders. We have a meeting with DSS next month and another court date in October. But honestly there will probably be no changes made at those two times either.
We did take the kids to Disney in June and had a ball! They were so excited and heck, I was too. I love it there and would take them back again...and soon. We're planning a beach trip in a couple weeks for Labor Day so that'll be fun too. I really want to do another cruise but you cannot take them out of the country and I do not want to leave them for a week. It's crazy I know, but I am so attached. And plus we've got a great routine going on and they know what to expect. I would hate it if they thought we had left them all of a sudden. That would break my heart.
While we were driving down to Disney R started with a viral infection; fever, cough, and fussy. Lasted 24 hours and then she was good to go. However, that was also the week that she started this whole crying out in the middle of the night deal and trying to wiggle her way into our bed. So now we are doing this whole cry it out method. Let me tell you that it sucks! We didn't start it until about a week ago, but she was taking over an hour to go to bed every night. Then M wanted to get in on it b/c he sees that it's working for her. So we've had to put a stop to it. So now; I put them both to bed after reading books, hugs, kisses, and tucking them in. She is still crying out but it's getting less and less. Tonight was only 20 minutes. And I do go upstairs after a certain time to make sure she's OK and just reassure her that it's bedtime and she'll see us again when she wakes up. She's got a nightlight & fan for white noise. Plus we can see her on the monitor to make sure she's OK. Of course the other night when Walter was home he was the one who went back up and as soon as she heard the stairs creak she craned her little head and screamed louder. Girl knows what she's doing:)
It gets really hard when she starts in on the "Mom-mom", breaks my heart. I have to hide out in my room and watch the monitor. B/c I know if I leave my room I'll be up the stairs in a hot minute. Don't judge me!
On our agenda for now is R's bday party in September and M's bday in October. I am really excited about throwing them parties....I do love to plan:)
So that is all for now...or really all I have time to type for now. I hope that all is well in all of your lives and thanks for the continued prayers and thoughts.
